Is personality the problem?

"To me entrepreneurship isn’t much about money, it is about learning to live free of limitations."

Dear Fearbusters,

I’d like to share with you a summarized version, with some modifications, of a lecture I delivered for the Roxbourg MBA program
Here it goes:


The process of life is unstoppable. Let me explain.

I had an epiphany, a realization that will most certainly change my life.

The personality can't survive death, but the essence of a person, their Purpose, the consequence of their actions can. I am a continuation of my ancestors, and so on.

From a perspective, I can see two aspects of human life: our essence and our personality.

In our personality, we host our sense of identity, experience, knowledge, fears, thoughts, and behavioral patterns.

Our essence is a freer, wiser, simpler, purer version of ourselves. It is what we enjoy, the why of our efforts, the inspiration, and the motivations that keep us ticking. We can see others' essence when they laugh, when they rejoice, share, or play.


If I mainly listen to my personality, I can get trapped in my own ignorance, prejudices, the limits imposed by my culture, etc.

In contrast, if I mainly listen to my essence, I might find myself without a job and finally vulnerable to adverse circumstances. 

We all need a balance between ideals, dreams and realization.

Of course, my personality is there to fulfill my essence's desires. There is a codependence between these two aspects.

If I mainly listen to my personality, I risk ignoring the reasons why. Many of us dream of a well-paid and stable job to enjoy a happy family. But keeping that job often becomes a reason why we can't share time with them.

If we all do the same, that is, to listen to our personalities, aren't we going to feel "stuck in a system that doesn't work for us anymore"? Aren't we all going to feel like everything else is a threat? Aren't we going to feel always defensive and in competition? 

If I feel stuck, disempowered, vulnerable, someone else can offer me safety and abuse my disadvantage. My mind will convince me to submit, sacrifice in the name of a possible better future.

To me, being aligned with our purpose happens when we listen to the voice of our experience with caution, while we constantly remind ourselves what matters the most. We know our past experiences can be desceptive, our perspectives limited, our thoughts biased.

How can I balance my personality and my essence? Is there a middle point? Is our society capable of balancing its collective purpose and culture?

Balance must happen now. “We disregard the wonders of the present moment, thinking that heaven and the ultimate are for later, not for now.” —Thich Nhat Hanh

To me, a life where personality and essence are in balance would look more peaceful, energetic, impactful, and confident. 

That person would work to fulfill goals, visions, and dreams but would not forget why. 

That person would understand better that failure is just an opportunity to change direction, not a circumstance to be far from what really matters.

Collectively, a balanced society that cares about human development would never justify war in the name of peace nor injustice in the name of a stable economy.

To me entrepreneurship isn’t much about money, it is about learning to live free of limitations.


When the day to leave comes for me, I know that my mistakes, my shortcomings will die with my body. And I know that in the heart of the few that came to know me, my essence will remain and that will influence them in one or another way. My essence will continue despite my personality. 

So, what do I have to do until that day? I want to make my essence shine brighter, be more obvious. I want to live a life where my personality serves my essence and not the other way around.


Making an analogy with a computer:

My personality is like my operating system. My fears are there to protect me, but if misunderstood, they can become dysfunctional, breaking the balance, making me paranoid, pessimistic, disempowered, etc. Misunderstood fears are a bug in the system.

My essence, my Purpose, is like the computer processor. It can make amazing things if the operating system works well without bugs.

When both work in harmony, they are at their best potential all the time.


Do you know someone who lives in balance with their Purpose, despite their fears, still managing to provide safety to themselves and their family?

Imagine, discuss, and dream what the impact of:

You being more in balance with your Purpose (less Fear)

Is your society being more human-friendly, inclusive, supportive?

Why live with the torments of our own fears if we can enjoy living our Purpose every day?


I wish this message gives you some food for thought. If you get into something interesting and wish to talk about it, you know how to reach me out.

Check my Vision of Present program called “Your Purpose in 20 steps.”