As we go through life, we get to defend ourselves from many things.
Now, imagine each time you find a threat, you add one brick to protect yourself. After a few years, you have built a tower. Of course, I’m talking about psychological fear.
The problem now is that the tower doesn’t let you move. You can’t see everything around you. Humbly you hang a white flag to let others know... you are peaceful.
That tower becomes part of who we are and is the reason why we feel stuck. To become more authentic, we all need to remove the bricks that are no longer needed. That process gives us freedom.
Here some questions that can help you find hidden fears:
Is there something where you are usually failing at? Examples: Asking for help, apologizing, making that call, getting paid...
Can you find some insecurity or limitation in your personality that creates that situation?
Write down what you found in Q2.
Try to match what you wrote with a specific fear. Example: I’m failing at asking for apologies; I want to be seen as confident; Fear of being perceived as weak.
Dig one step deeper, asking, Why am I afraid of being perceived as weak? Example: Because weak people are less likely to succeed.
Match your answer to Q5 with a fear: Fear of not succeeding
That is a process that can help you remove ”brick by brick” the limitations that keep you stuck. Once you find a specific fear, you can’t unsee it.
I hope this tool is useful to you!